Mother’s Day

I'm of course thinking of my mother today as I do every single day. I'm a daughter and a sister, an aunt and a cousin, a niece, a wife and of course a friend but I didn't do the mother thing. I know my own mother was disappointed we didn't have kids, it was 'expected' that we would, right? Absolutely. All of my childhood friends have kids and I know they were surprised when we didn't. Our choice was a conscious one and I've never regretted that choice which I am so grateful for. On this holiday I don't miss not being a mother but I miss my own mother more than I can say. My mother loved being a mom - my sister and I often didn't make it easy on her - probably like most kids out there but at the end she knew we loved her fiercely and we know she felt the same. I think about everything she's missed - our ridiculous election - our beloved Cubs win - Tessa finding her way - my dad as challenging as ever - but then I realize as much as I miss her physical presence I feel her with me every single day. She's right there when the seasons change, and when I perfectly parallel park (she taught me well), when I pick up a new book, or when I roll my eyes at my dad, when I support the man I love, and when I stand up for what is right, when I vote, when I hug my sister so tight I don't want to let go, and when I get to kiss the sweet cheek of Tessa. So, today, I'm thinking most especially of my sweet, sweet mama, and extending love and light to those who have lost their mothers - I stand by my word that it is a loss unlike any other. Hold tight to your moms and to your memories they will serve you well. 

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