In Limbo Amongst Lots of Change

Change has been at the forefront lately. I lost my boss, Martin Cooke, in November which broke my heart. It's taken me a while to climb out of that grief and I now feel invigorated to work on his behalf to further the cause of animal welfare so I'm grateful for that change.

Three friends announced new partners in their lives in November. That is huge change - life altering, family altering, struggling through the muck to be true to themselves and find happiness kind of change. Two friends moved overseas - again, huge, nerve-racking but crazy exciting change. 

I feel like I'm in constant limbo, unable to make real change and I love big changes, big moves. I know we're doing the right thing living with my elderly dad but it is challenging every single day. An aunt said to move on with our lives but that would mean moving away - creating big change for all of us. The alternative is to stay until we don't have to anymore which will also be change - but one we can't control. We're trying to think about what's next for us. Do we stay in Chicago, move back to LA? London, or ? but I think all the thinking and not doing - not changing - leaves me in limbo and frustrated. 

We're supposed to live in the moment, right? Focus on the present. Great in theory but it's not easy.

I love to plan, organize, and think about what's next. For my sanity though I've been shifting my need for big change to finding ways to be happy with small, in the moment, change.

Meditation is helping, exercise is helping, working in my passion is helping, writing is helping and we've already organized and Marie Kondo'd everything we own so when the next big change does come, whatever and wherever it will be, we'll be ready. 

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